I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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