I faked an abortion last night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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