another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
this hospital has no fireball
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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