Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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