How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
