awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
