My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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