i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
