She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
