True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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