i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
