SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
