Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
50% drunk capacity currently
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
