we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
