i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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