Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
