I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
