really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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