nut hugger
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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