No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
