Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
