you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
