Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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