There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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