You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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