Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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