It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
