dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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