yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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