went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
