Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
