i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
