BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
