For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MIDGETS
????
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
