i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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