Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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