Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
