She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
