i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
