Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
