R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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