how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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