So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
