Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
