Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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