Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
