Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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