I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
