Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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