This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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