Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
