I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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